My words of advice. Never, ever go out on a limb with friends to a point where you can be hung-out to dry.

It’s something I’ve learned finally.

I helped some friends early last year; they were having their home renovated and needed somewhere to live.

Mistake #1 – Not putting their names on the lease.

So they finally moved in 3 months after they were going to, and basically took-over; their energies were so negative it was bizarre. She passive-aggressive, He, passive-aggressive veering towards the aggressive.

They watched TV All The Time (even though they swore they didn’t). And they watched it loud. So loud it could be heard through doors downstairs, where I lived.

When asked about it; and given options to negotiate a solution, I was stonewalled by Him with a hearty “this is my loungeroom”.

Things went on from there. Constantly negative people are difficult, don’t you think. He has hyper-hearing (potentially a vitamin-b deficiency), so hears every damn thing in a 300 meter radius. Dogs barking drive him nuts, people talking downstairs irritate…

He once referred to the place as “Like living in Hell”.

“Oh, it’s too noisy,” they would declare on a regular basis.

I stopped eating breakfast at home because they would try to engage me in conversation in the morning, and more-often-than-not, complain about something.

Her favourite expression was the backward smile. Take a smile, pull your face back a bit, move your head back on your neck a bit and have an expectant look in your eye.

Passive aggressive, like I said.

I went to Vipassana Meditation in December, came back and said to her (though she denies it) that I had decided, after some labouring the point, that I was going to move-out at some stage in the future.

And I found a place astonishingly enough, through a series of events which are unusual to be sure.

And I told them once I knew, and gave notice. They gave no indication that this would be a problem.

And I moved out.

I dropped past to clean-up and pick some things up, chatted, and all seemed fine.

Then last week, things got weird. Suddenly She wanted to return some odds and ends which I hadn’t managed to pick up, and was astonishingly insistent.

Then on Friday I got a demanding phone call, and it was revealed that:

1. They’d found a new place.

2. That she wanted the bond back immediately.

3. That She wasn’t prepared to negotiate.

4. That when I said I didn’t want to live with other people anymore, she took it personally and “how do you think that made us feel?”

5. She really wasn’t prepared to negotiate, nor listen.

6. She had worked-out how much longer they would be in the house, and strangely enough, it worked-out that it was *exactly* the amount of the bond.

7. And that being the case, I should pay the excess rent.

I was somewhat gobsmacked by this behaviour and attitude. So I chatted with M and she advised me to get annoyed… really annoyed. And I did, for a while. I wrote the following response:

Hi Sue,

Thanks for the call about the new place; glad you’ve found somewhere better for you.

We have obviously had a misunderstanding regarding when I told you I was going to look for somewhere new. I remember that I arrived home on the evening of the 16th of December and began assembling the clothes rack you were kind enough to bring from M. I was unaware you were home at the time, and was making a noise hammering the pieces together. You came downstairs and said hello and it was at that point that I told you of my plans to begin looking for a new place.

However, this aside, I gave you one months rent for January, and therefore one months notice. I may have only informed you of my intention to physically move out two weeks before I did-so, but you’ve had the benefit of two weeks (15 days in fact) without my presence in the house (26th Jan to 9th Feb = 15 days, which is $739 approximately, or half the months rent). I didn’t ask for that money back, and nor would I have.

Now, to the bond. Until I have that money back from the bond authority, I can’t give you anything. I simply don’t have any excess money available after my move and am pretty skint. So, now that you have given me notice to vacate, the order of events is:

1. You’ve given notice – 30 days is the usual, so you need to pay for that month’s rent.
2. When you’ve moved out and the house is inspected you will get your bond back. That is the way it usually works.

You will get your bond back regardless of what happens at Lorna avenue. I promised that when I took the money, and I am reiterating that promise now. You will not be affected by any deductions which could possibly occur, however, I doubt that there will be. In two full inspections of the home that have occurred since P left, nothing was commented upon.

So, if you’d tell me when you’re going to move out, I can inform the agent tomorrow and hopefully avoid any excess costs. I will also inform the utilities companies, and iiNet so that they can cut-off the services at the appropriate time. Then, when I receive the final bills from these companies, I will send you a copy and we can work-out who is responsible for what.

Okay, you have a great weekend and we’ll chat later. We can meet & discuss this in person if you wish, rather than all these emails & telephone calls flying around.

L.

And I waited and checked my email for a response. I also checked my bank account. Nothing appeared.

Tonight, the following response came through:

Hi Lisa,

Please take the $650 bond I paid you as our last rent: 9/2/08 – 4/3/08 = 25 days based on $26 per day for a 29 day month.

Note that you gave us 25 days notice – 14/1/08 – 8/2/08

As I indicated in the phone conversation, I will not pay rent now and get my bond back at a later time – the mess and damage in that property was not caused by us and I am not prepared to risk/waste more of my money with you.

I will not pay the full rent for February – we moved in with the agreement to pay ½ the full rent. You have broken your commitment to us by moving out early and with insufficient notice. We thankfully found alternative, affordable accommodation – a real challenge when you are talking only 3 months.

I expect no further inconvenience until we move out – we have had enough don’t you think? You have my assurance that we will continue to look after the house as we have done thus far.

You have added further stress to an already stressful situation and if we had not found somewhere to go, potentially more than $3000 to my already stretched budget. I am not rich. This has been another very disappointing and expensive experience and we look forward to closure.

Thanks

Sue

We will put the day bed out for council collection this evening

Now, I have many options open to me.

Number one, and very tempting it is, is to cut off the power, gas, internet and phone.

However, my arse-factor on this is pretty low. I’m sitting here in my new calm — perhaps even serene — place in North Fitzroy, and frankly:

1. Have no intention to spend any more energy on this sort of crap

2. Am happy to have ditched two more arsehole friends from my life

3. Don’t want to taint the atmosphere of this home with negativity.

So, I lose another month’s rent on the old place. To be honest, it’s a small price to pay to have those two emotional vampires out of my life. They are negativity sinks; it just rushes to them.

So, Sue, if you’re reading this, I hope your life goes the way you intend, I hope your home is finally completed and I look forward to ignoring you if I ever see you again.

As they say in Japan: Sayanora Sweetie.